What Are We Seeing In Others?

What are we seeing in others?

In today’s world, it’s hard to avoid the constant stream of negativity. The news is filled with stories of deception, selfishness, harsh rhetoric, and unkind behavior. When we witness these things, our instinctive response is often emotional. We may feel anger rise up and find ourselves thinking—or even saying—things like, “What a liar,” “That person’s an idiot,” or “How evil can someone be?”

It’s a gut-level reaction. And it’s human. We don’t like to see injustice, dishonesty, or cruelty. But if we’re not careful, that reaction can start to shape us. Over time, we risk becoming exactly what we disapprove of—judgmental, cynical, even bitter. Our thoughts, words, and tone begin to mirror the very negativity we wish didn’t exist.

So how do we respond without losing ourselves in the process?

A more reserved and positive approach doesn’t mean excusing wrongdoing or pretending it doesn’t exist. It means choosing how we respond—deliberately. We can acknowledge bad behavior without attacking the person. We can say, “That action was disappointing,” or “That statement wasn’t truthful,” instead of labeling someone entirely.

We can also remind ourselves that most people are more than their worst moments. Everyone has struggles, blind spots, and pain they may not even recognize in themselves. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can offer is restraint—pausing before we react, and choosing to respond with clarity and calm instead of outrage.

In doing so, we protect our own peace. And we keep open the possibility of seeing the good in others—even when it's buried deep.

Here’s a quote that comes to mind about bringing out the good in others:

   “Purity calls for the highest within man.  You cannot slander nor can you see the evil in others.  If you look for the good in those around {you}, then you will bring out the good qualities within them, and make {your} neighbor manifest his good qualities.  Dwell upon the good within {your} neighbor and thus you will exalt the good in him, and bring out the good in {yourself}.  {Your} good qualities will not come forth unless you see them in the world about you.” 

                                                                    --Paul Twitchell in Stranger by the River